I often talk about the importance of foreplay and communication in my blog posts and the articles that I
write but someone asked me the other day exactly what constitutes foreplay and it got me thinking.
Foreplay is a big part of communication and vice versa. If your partner is just hopping in bed and going
for it you need to be able to communicate either through words or actions what would make the experience
more satisfying for both of you.
Foreplay is not necessarily only something that is done in the bedroom – your daily actions play a big
part in how you and your mate perceive each other and can affect the vibe of your love life. Constant
nagging or appearing disinterested in your partner”s interests can leave him feeling underappreciated or
ignored. Failing to share the household burden or just give moral support can leave her feeling like you
do not cherish her or find her sexy as a person. It takes time and effort every day to tend to a
relationship – think of it as foreplay to foreplay.
It is also worth noting that men and women generally need a different kind of foreplay – men tend to
respond to more immediate tactile advances while women tend to experience the whole of the relationship
as a prelude to intercourse and a couple of bad days can do as much damage to your night of passion as a
Sometimes men will need prolonged foreplay to get an erection and some are raring to go at the drop of a
hat (or your lingerie). Physical foreplay for men is usually pretty basic. The direct touching of the
genitals will often do the trick. If you want to tantalize your man here are some maneuvers to work into
Show me the honey!
Men are very visually driven, so sexy clothing is helpful, but giving him an unobstructed view of that
which he desires can be sexier than any lingerie. Perform a slow strip tease or surprise him by serving
dinner or drinks in next to nothing.
Steam it up
Run your parted lips over his body and exhale slowly. The warm moist air of your breath will change the
temperature of his skin and heighten his arousal.
Who”s the Boss?
Seize control of the situation – take charge of the night. Many women would be surprised to know that men
like to be taken in passion as much as women. Being sexually aggressive is a sign of a lusty appetite and
shows that you”re as into things as he is.
Just a Little Touch
Men are especially receptive to tactile stimulation when aroused. Do something different – run silk over
his back, make long but gentle scratches up and down his back or drape your hair over his member.
Take a Break
Stimulate him just to the brink and then draw back a little. You do not have to stop your lovemaking, but
ease up and put off the reward for a while. This is also a good technique for prolonging an erection.
And for her…..
Women need physical foreplay to become properly lubricated for intercourse. Direct genital touching is
not always the best way to get your woman hot and bothered. In fact, making that the last place to visit
is often a good technique for arousing her. Let her know in words and actions that you want her, that you
find her sexy, that you REALLY need her.
Nothing is more important in foreplay to a woman than feeling like the two of you have a connection. Tell
her often that you were thinking about her. When out without her, instead of saying how much fun you had
with the guys, tell her it was fine but you missed her. Don”t lie and there is no need for flowery
Valentine”s Day speech, just honest feelings and caring conversation.
Being intimate does not always have to mean having sex. Ask her probing questions and listen to her
answers, you might learn something helpful. Strive to give her more than one-word replies when she asks
you the same kinds of questions. Confide in her, don”t shut her out of your thoughts and feelings. Women
like to KNOW the person they are with. Sex in a relationship is a very personal thing and leaves a person
feeling vulnerable so needs to have a basis of trust and caring.
Make lots of physical contact without being sexual, like holding hands, brushing her hair, giving her
short shoulder massages throughout the day or kisses in the hallway as you go about your daily routine.
Do anything to make contact without it having to be sexual. She will remember it and crave more touching
For most women kissing is an incredible turn on. A woman sees kissing as a form of emotional intimacy. If
you attack her with your tongue hanging out she is probably not going to feel very sexy, so start with a
brief caressing of lips or some kissed on the neck. Pay attention to how she responds and let it go from
there. Try to have a long interval between starting kissing and actually “heavy petting” just like in
high school – the anticipation is half of the fun.
Take your time with your foreplay, usually longer stimulation results in heightened sensitivity and sends
your senses haywire – leading to explosive orgasm. Breaking routine, exploration, new places, new
positions, role playing and letting your lover know what is satisfying you or not are important elements
One final word for both men and women to remember – When in doubt, imitate what your partner is doing, as
it is almost always a sign of what he or she likes!